


This is not a love triangle

by WestAllenDreams



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Action, Drama, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 15:16:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18780868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WestAllenDreams/pseuds/WestAllenDreams
Summary: Michael gets help from Tilly on how to navigate the tension she finds herself in, aboard Discovery. Set after "If Memory Serves"





	1. It's Not Unusual

Michael felt lighter being back on Discovery but her feelings were shortly halted when Tilly asked her out of the blue "Are you planning on checking in on your brother in sickbay anytime soon?"

"I am not sure, yet. Why?"

"Well, Captain Pike wanted to talk to you. I think it may have something to do with Tyler."

Michael hesitated, remembering that she hadn't seen him around since she got back, and then asked: "What's going on with Tyler?"

"Someone on the ship was stealing data and then when we investigated it, it turns out that Tyler's codes were being used, so the Captain sort of imprisoned him. To his quarters so not severe but I thought you should know."

Michael spoke "I know that you guys all think that I am still in love with Tyler but to be honest I mostly just think he is trying his best to earn Starfleet's trust back, why would he betray us like this, now? For Section 31?"

"I don't know. I mean I did think it was unusual for the Captain to not just talk or interrogate Tyler himself before punishing him, but it seems that Pike has been more than on edge with Tyler for a while."

Michael didn't have much time to think about that statement because just then an announcement was made "Commander Burnham to the Captain's ready room."

Michael was making her way to Captain Pike's quarters when she bumped into Lt Rhys "Okay I get that your brother has been through a trauma but he's been in my room for about 15 minutes and has already pointed out about a million things that were wrong or bothering him, like I hadn't opened up my room to him out of the goodness of my heart. Okay, I had to, considering that I was the only one who doesn't have a roommate but at least my previous roommate was nicer. Can't he stay with you?"

Michael tensed, although not visible enough for him to notice "Uhm, I share a room with Tilly, remember?"

"So let's swap," Rhys said immediately.

"I don't know." "It's chilled, I will ask Tilly and then we can make the swap." he said quickly

Before Michael could protest an announcement was made "Commander Burnham to the Captain's ready room." Michael exhaled and made her, more briskly, to the Captain's ready room.

As soon as Michael entered the Captain's ready room he ordered the privacy protocol and came around his desk to speak to her, he seemed worried and she started to feel nervous herself. "First, I would like you to know that I will be interrogating Tyler on the security breaches that occurred earlier this week. Second, I know that Tyler has had an exemplary record and therefore should be given the benefit of the doubt."

Michael stared at Captain Pike "Sir, excuse me for asking, but why are you telling me all this? Do you want me to be there for the interrogation?"

For only a second, he seemed to tense up "I think that it would be beneficial for you to be there but that is not why you are here, well it is not the only reason you are here." He paused and then started towards slowly before standing close to her "I would like to apologise for imprisoning Tyler before interrogating him, it is not my usual way of dealing with things but when it comes to him I have found myself a bit compromised."

"Because he's half a Klingon?" Michael asked.

"No. Because of you. I am not going to lie here. I knew a bit about you before I came aboard but every moment I have spent with you since have been moments I have held dear and the idea that you and Tyler are in love and that he betrayed you and Starfleet, made it hard for me to see him in a good light. So I am sorry, I would never want to make you feel like you can't trust my judgement."

Michael was so taken aback by his vulnerability that for a moment she couldn't help but look at him. But not just look, stare at him. The silence must have been too much for him to take because he turned away and Michael found herself walking around him to face him yet again and said "First, I am no longer in love with Tyler, but I do care and worry about him. He's not a monster like everyone thinks. Second, I actually did know about how you felt about me, for a while now, you have the tendency to let looks linger longer than they should especially when I walk away. I just never thought you would say anything about it." She smiled and shrugged.

This time he didn't let the silence go on before he grabbed her and kissed, soft and longing at first but then the heat between them increased and Michael and Pike found themselves full blown making out. They crashed into his desk, ignoring the pens and papers that fell on the ground, he picked her up and put her on his desk with such ease that Michael broke the kiss to groan, Pike used this opportunity to kiss his way down her jaw and taking little nibbles on her neck, while moving his hands from her waist to her ass, pulling her closer and closer to him and what felt like a growing erection. The moment was then interrupted by an announcement "Captain Pike to the bridge."

Michael and Pike looked at each other before they both nervously chuckled at the state that they and his desk were in before fixing themselves. Pike drew her to him one last time planting a soft kiss on her lips and said: "Out there, I can be Captain but in here I really just want to be Chris with you." She smiled and said, "I like that."

At the end of her shift, Michael found herself excited to get back and tell Tilly about what happened but when she approached her quarters she saw Rhys leaving smiling with Tilly and Michael remembered their conversation earlier.

Michael rushed into their quarters "Please tell me you didn't agree to the swap?"

Tilly looked confused but said "Of course I did. You know I like Rhys. Ever since I denied him that kiss last year he has been playing hard to get but now we will be in the same quarters so it will make this cat-and-mouse game so much more interesting."

Michael was in full-blown panic mode and Tilly just said: "Look I know you don't get along with your brother very well but I think that maybe you are being a tiny bit dramatic here."

Michael stopped pacing and realised that she had to tell Tilly about the memory that tore her and Spock apart, about everything that made their relationship not just tense but irreparable.


	2. It's Not Fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that Spock and Burnham are not related.

Michael got back from school early and her parents were not home usually, her mom was but today she was nowhere to be seen. Michael felt disappointed at the idea that she was going to have to take care of her own lunch and decided against it and climbed the stairs of their house when she heard a sound coming from Spock's room. Michael and Spock were not the closest of siblings, in fact, she remembered him to be distant on purpose even though he saved her life and covered for her often, he still kept his distance from her.

She walked slowly to Spock's bedroom door and knocked. It occurred to her that she had not seen her brother for a while but considering that they kept different learning schedules it was not uncommon. It was then that she heard a thud and she opened the door to find Spock sprawled on the floor, when she went to help him up she could feel that he was warm and running a fever. Michael looked at her brother concerned.

Spock tried to wriggle away from her but she wouldn't let him and he did not have the strength to fight her so he said: "You should not have come in here."

"What is going on with you? And where is Mother" she asked.

"Please just leave. You are making this harder." He replied.

"Not until you tell me what is going on." She said to him firmly.

"You should know. You learn about this in school. About male Vulcan anatomy."

Michael searched her memory for her the information about anything that could cause him to appear so sick and the only that came to mind was concerning Pon Farr and the mating rituals and around this time, normal Vulcans would choose their betrothed.

"It is time for you to pick a mate, brother." She looked at him with concern.

"I will not pick a mate. My human side is causing the symptoms to be less severe than normal Vulcan males and therefore I only have to last until the end of tomorrow and then I don't have to worry about it for another 5 years." He explained to her.

"Okay well what can I do to help?" she asked him.

"Nothing-" "Spock, I am your sister-" "Except you are not. Not related by blood. My body can sense that and it is taking all of me to not try and defile you right now."

She looked at her brother shocked and he looked away ashamed. When she got up to leave, he grabbed her hand and then it seemed like he forced himself to let go.

Michael thought about him all night struggling because of her presence, because of his indecisiveness with choosing a mate. The last time she felt her presence was going to hurt the family she ran away and almost got herself killed, luckily Spock saved her but this time all it would take was sex to ease his suffering. She couldn't do it. The situation would have been different had they been in love and wanted to be together but that was not the case and having sex with Spock would only complicate a relationship that has been somewhat drama-free.

Michael thought about Spock all day the next day at school and when she got home, she could not take the silence anymore and went to check on him. She opened the door to his room, knowing he would not have opened had she knocked and was surprised to find that he was not there. But then she heard the door his bathroom open and out he walked. He still looked like he had a fever and he was still more pale the usual but he seemed to be able to be upright.

As soon as Spock saw her, he made his way to her and grabbed her face to kiss her. She stopped the kiss and backed away from him. "I thought you were doing better." She said to him.

"I am but I know I want this. I want to feel better and I want to not have to worry about Pon Farr again."

"What do you mean?" she asked

"If I mate with you then by the time the next Pon Farr comes in 5 years we will both have graduated from the Vulcan Science Academy and we won't have to be around each other therefore I won't feel the effects of it because my mate won't be near. Also, it makes sure I won't ever have to be betrothed against my will."

"Spock this is lunacy." She had backed away from him so far that she now had her back against his wall, she was afraid to look him in the eyes because she remembered the look of lust that filled them when he saw her.

"No. It's completely logical. We are not related, nor will you feel obligated to be my betrothed. Do you not want to help me? You owe me that much."

The room went silent and then Michael said "Close the door"

Spock went to close the door before kissing her this time she kissed him back but she found it hard to get in the mood and Spock could tell so he gestured to put his hands on her head and then her mind got filled with his thoughts, passions and fantasies of him and her having sex all over the house.

Once Michael got used to the shock of the mental intrusion she began to feel the heat rise up in her body she then pushed Spock to his knees, dropped her skirt, and lifted her right leg to go over his shoulder.

Spock knowing what to do immediately got to work licking her slit before inserting his finger into it and as he went along he adapted to her moans eventually bringing her to orgasm and then he directed them towards her bed and he removed his clothing before kissing her and reaching for breasts, lifting her shirt, and bra with it, to get better access. Nibbling and sucking on her breasts garnered so much pleasure from her that she began to ache for his erection.

Almost like he could sense her wanting, he moved her leg aside as he entered her, a groan like she had never heard from escaped his mouth and then he began to drive into her, slowly at first, as he figured out the perfect angle, but once she began to moan in pleasure, he sped up and marvelled at how wonderfully beautiful she looked completely lost in the moment as her breasts went up in down in the movement and then she came and her face made him come undone as well.

\----------------------

"So not only did you lose your virginity to your adoptive brother but you also had unprotected sex with him?" Tilly asked looking at Michael completely enthralled in her story.

"Of course we used protection, I just didn't think that was relevant," Michael said.

"Yeah, I guess the whole you being his mate thing is a bit of a big chunk of the story."

"I can't share a room with him, Tilly, I just can't."

"Okay, I get it. Let me see if I can organise with someone else for a swap okay? Maybe Airiam?"

"Yeah, that's a good combination."

Michael slumped down onto her bed and then said: "Today has been the most unusual day and the Captain did not help either."

"Why? What happened with the Captain?" Tilly asked.


	3. It's Not Like I Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Airiam's funeral everyone grieves in their own way, Michael decides to take a chance with Chris.

Michael couldn't sleep, her mind kept drifting to the snoring Rhys occupying Tilly's bed. She hated this arrangement, especially because it meant that Tilly would be compromising her happiness for her and she hated feeling dependent on people. She decided that she was not going to slip back into her dark thoughts and instead silently put on her workout gear intending on going for a run.

Michael liked running, she sometimes felt like if she just ran fast enough then none of her problems could reach her, she paused for a moment, unable to continue when she realised that she was close to the Captain's quarters. It was like her body was detached from her brain as she slowly walked towards his quarters, she hesitated over the call button but then the doors opened.

Chris had obviously been ready to go to sleep because at that moment all he had on was his sweatpants. No shirt. No sweater. Just sweatpants. Chris was basically half-naked when he let her into his quarters but he had the nerve to be the one looking surprised.

"What's going on Michael?"

"I didn't know you were getting ready for bed, I just wanted to see you."

Chris' eyes softened at her words and walked towards her, she backed up. "I thought-"

"I didn't come for that, I just wanted to see you and now I have." summing up all the strength she could, she made her way to the door.

"Wait. Please wait." Chris stopped in front of her. "I also wanted to check in with you. I wanted to know how you were feeling with everything." He gestured to the couch.

"It's been hard, we've been through so much, so much betrayal. Both conscious and unconscious, it seems almost unfair that we had to lose another member of the crew the same way." She said as she sat down on the couch

Chris sat next to her and reached for her hand "I know what it's like to feel betrayed. I know what it's like to think one thing of a person and for them to be completely different. I'm just glad that you are utilising me for more than just Captain duties." he stretched his arm out on the back of the couch, his left side open for her to nuzzle in and she took the opportunity to do so.

He shifted uncomfortably "What is it?" she asked.

"It's just you are all sweaty," Chris said with a bit of smirk and Michael got up but instead of being mortified she took off her top, her trainers and her pants and stood in her underwear in front of him on the couch.

"I guess I have to take a shower, want to show me where that is?" she asked teasingly.

He pretended to think about it and then picked her up and put her over his shoulder. She was so caught off guard that she laughed uncontained.

Chris put her down and then turned the water on, once it was hot enough she got in, she actually started to use his soap all over body and when she began to rinse herself off, she turned around and found Chris just staring at her, she smiled and eyed her way down his frame and how the sweatpants could not hide the erection he had.

Michael couldn't help herself she wondered how big he was. She had only been with three men in her life and two of them were clearly not eligible for redos and the last one was a human man who she had been attracted to when he visited Vulcan. The sex was adequate, but since it had only been a year, Michael could not help compare him to Spock and sadly Spock's Vulcan efficiency made him a tough act to follow. Ash was adequate too but what drove their lovemaking over the edge was that it was just that, lovemaking not mating.

Chris caught Michael's eyes as she stared at his erection and he went to take off his pants but before he looked her in the eye and asked her "Is this what you want?"

"Oh dear god yes." With one quick move Chris was in the shower with her, he picked her up and in one swift movement lowered her onto his length. First, she cried in both pain and pleasure, then he slowly began to thrust into her, she was now moaning in pure pleasure, by the time they were done, the water was beginning to get cold so they got out the shower.

Chris took one of the towels off the rack and wrapped it around her before reaching for one for himself. Michael thought about how he had thought of her first before taking care of himself and she wondered, who would betray someone so thoughtful like him. Then again she never thought that she would be betrayed but also she never thought she could love someone enough for them to betray her so what did she know?

Michael kissed Chris so deeply and for so long when they separated, they were heating up and out of breath. He gave her one of his t-shirts to wear and he put on another pair of sweatpants and they got into his bed and cuddled up Chris then kissed her hair and then said: "I could be like this, with you, forever." "Me too." they both drifted off soon after that. It was late after all.

\------------------------------

It was the first time Michael had seen these men together in a room and bypassing all of the awkwardness that both her and Tilly felt, she tried to stay on the topic at hand: the discovery that her mother was the Red Angel.

"She clearly stated that she wanted to speak to Captain Pike, if she is from the future then clearly she knows that she can communicate better with the Captain," Spock said.

"Yes but she is in a prison we built, she doesn't get to dictate the rules. Besides if we send a more experienced interrogator than maybe we could get more out of her." Ash said.

"The same way Section 31 was going to interrogate me, Lt Tyler? Section 31 cannot be trusted on this matter." Spock said.

"I think both Commander Burnham and I should speak to her. If Lt Stamets calculations are correct then the cell won't hold for long, this way Commander Burnham will get to visit with her mother at least once." Chris said.

"Excuse me Captain but I don't think you are thinking about what sending Michael down there is going to do. What if she refuses to speak to Michael? How do you think that would make her feel?" Ash said.

Michael honestly hadn't thought about that. What if the reason her mother was able to stay on the mission was that she never actually interacted with her? It never occurred to Michael that her mother may have found it easier to save her daughter from a distance, or maybe she was saving her daughter from having her mother ripped from her repeatedly over the years. It was driving Michael mad but also making her sad at the same time.

Chris' eyes connected with hers and then he said "Maybe we should ask her, herself." they all turned to look at her. She felt caught off guard by the looks on their faces and each of them probably hoped she would side with them bu

Luckily Admiral Cornwell interrupted and said "That is enough. Captain Pike will interrogate Dr Burnham and if we get all the information we need than afterwards Commander Burnham may be permitted to visit her mother. Is that clear?" Everyone in the room agreed, whenever Admiral Cornwell spoke, like that, it was difficult for anyone to stand against her.

Michael was on her way back to her quarters to watch her mother's video logs when Tilly caught up with her.

"That was weird huh? All of them just standing there talking about you and stuff?"

"Yes and no. They each had valid points but I understand that my being there during the interrogation might be distracting."

"Spoken like a true Vulcan. Yes, I know you are not Vulcan but that answer was so logical, it's ridiculous."

Later when both Tilly and Michael sat down for dinner, Michael was feeling better because she was going to get to talk to her mother. Detmer and Owo sat down at their table after a while. "So a little birdy told me that you have been sneaking out of your quarters at night."

"Who told you that?" both Tilly and Michael asked quickly.

"I was talking to Owo but thanks for making me feel like the only one in the group who is not getting any grief sex."

"Well, I got to go," Michael said standing up. "Me too," Tilly said.

"Okay, so where have you been sneaking off to?" Tilly asked Michael. "I could ask you the same question, Tilly."

"Okay well, I have been sort of sneaking out of my new quarters into my old quarters to have 'grief sex' with Lt Rhys."

"Oh okay, I guess I understand not being able to have sex around my brother." Michael then stopped and looked at Tilly "Wait, you didn't know I wasn't in the room though." Tilly looked away guiltily.

"Oh my gosh, Tilly I can't believe that you would actually be having sex when I could be sleeping merely 5 feet away."

"I know I am sorry." Tilly said putting her hands to cover her face but then she peaked up from under them "Wait, but you weren't in the room. So where were you?"


	4. It's Not Like Anyone is Going to Notice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tilly is attacked and Michael is hurt trying to help. This is how everyone deals with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty long chapter as it deals with the next steps of the story from perspectives other than Michael's

Michael opened her eyes slowly, it was painful, the lights were too bright. As she made her way to get up a hand went to settle her.

"Don't try to get up, Commander Burnham, you have serious injuries." Dr Pollard cautioned her.

Michael opened her eyes wide enough to see that she and Tilly were in a secure bubble in Med Bay, Tilly was still unconscious. Michael made an attempt to reach for her friend before the pain on her side made her flinch back in pain.

"Commander Burnham. Michael, Tilly is fine, she suffered some head trauma but she will be good. So will you if you would just listen to me." Dr Pollard said.

Michael sat up and then quickly remembered the events that had her and Tilly in Med Bay. "Someone needs to inform the Captain that Tilly was attacked."

"Don't worry Burnham, he already knows. Why do you think the two of you are in these security shields? He ordered me to put them up."

"Did you catch who did it?" Michael asked hopefully.

"No, and that is why Captain Pike is worried. He wanted to make sure you guys were safe just in case." Dr Pollard said reaching for a what could only be sedative.

"I'm not worried. No one on this ship would attack us like that." Michael said confidently.

"You mean as Lt Tyler did to you and Dr Culber last year? Or how Airiam did to you and Lt Nahn last week?" Dr Pollard asked as she injected Michael, she continued "Frankly, I think that Lt Stamets had the right idea, wanting to take leave from this ship earlier, it clearly is a magnet for trouble."

Michael wanted to protest but found herself drifting off.

\-------------------------------------------

"This is the third time you have checked your watch, am I boring you Chris?" asked Admiral Cornwell

It was midnight and Chris was hoping to sneak off and see Burnham before he got some sleep, something which he had not been getting for the last couple of days.

He tried to focus on what Admiral Cornwell was saying to him and Leland but his mind drifted to a memory from only 3 days ago.

He wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell Michael that if they logged their relationship with Starfleet then he would have to hand off command of her to Saru and the idea that he wouldn't be able to guide her while she went on dangerous missions, which were starting to seem to be more frequent ever since the signals appeared, was holding them back. He was also afraid that their relationship was too new to stand up to the scrutiny of Starfleet, he knew what putting your love on display, for everyone to see, could do their relationship. He knew all too well. Chris was getting back from interrogating Dr Burnham when he saw the grim look on Saru's face indicating that something terrible had happened while he was away.

The USS Discovery was on lockdown.

"We found them under all the shelf rubble about an hour ago, Dr Pollard was able to stabilise Commander Burnham but Ensign Tilly is still having problems with her head traumas," Saru informed him, Chris was almost at a run as he made his way to Med Bay but before he could get there, Lt Nahn pulled him aside, wanting to talk about the attack on the crew members.

Chris yearned to see Michael but he made he turned, walking to his ready room instead.

"What do we know?" Chris asked Lt Nahn, once all members: Captain Georgiou, Saru, Spock, Admiral Cornwell, Lt Tyler and Leland were present.

"Approximately around 2:30 am Ensign Tilly was attacked, as she finished her shift, by someone on board the ship, she tries to fight but a majority of specialists aboard this vessel are not trained in combat so she clearly lost the fight." Just then a photo of Tilly's beaten face came into view. Everyone in the room flinched. Tilly wasn't just one of the youngest members aboard the ship but she was such a nice and sweet person that it was unforgivable that someone would have done this to her.

"Lt Nahn took a deep breath and then continued "Around 3:10 am Commander Burnham comes walking down the corridor, now what she was doing up so late is something that is a mystery but what you can see from the security footage we do have of that corridor, Commander Burnham seems to hear something coming from that room, maybe it was Tilly or the assailant but she goes in to the room to check it out."

"And then?" Captain Georgiou asked.

"And then nothing. Obviously Commander Burnham is more of a skilled fighter than Tilly so maybe the assailant didn't want to take her on directly but either way, Commander Burnham was left unconscious around 3:20 am and then only around 3:40 am do all the cameras go back to normal." Lt Nahn said.

"Why didn't anyone notice the cameras acting weird during all of this?" Captain Georgiou asked.

"Discovery is not like other Starfleet ships, there are security personnel aboard the ship but it remains a science vessel so even though most of Discovery's missions lately have involved action, it is supposed to be a ship that sees no conflict," Saru explained

"So the cameras are only checked after the fact? That has to be changed." Chris said.

"I agree, considering all Discovery has valuable aboard including Lt Stamets himself as well as the Sphere's data, I think training the crew for combat should be implemented." Lt. Tyler said.

"I'm more concerned with the lockdown of the ship Chris, why do you think this is necessary? Who's to say that Ensign Tilly and Commander Burnham were not just injured by the falling shelves?" Admiral Cornwell asked.

"Because Dr Pollard confirmed what I saw on the scene. That the injuries the Ensign suffered before the Commander got there were from fists." Lt Nahn explained.

"Yes but her ribs and leg fractures were so precise, there is no one aboard this vessel that could do that." Admiral Cornwell said.

"Anyone could, actually." Spock spoke confidently and continued "Those injuries although precise could be done by an extremely skilled fighter."

Everyone took a deep breath and Chris finally spoke: "Look either way all of this needs to be investigated further and until then I am keeping both Commander Burnham and Ensign Tilly in secure quarters until they are able to give us their version of events."

"What about the ship lockdown?" Leland asked, Chris, ignored his calm demeanour and replied: "Only secure personnel may leave the ship until everything has been investigated."

Everyone shuffled out of his ready room but Spock lingered behind.

"Captain Pike I would like to request some days off to take care of Michael while she recovers."  
Chris was not going to lie, he was surprised by Spock's request but he granted it, knowing that if Spock was by Michael's side at least he knew she was safe.

\-------------------------------------------

Ash made his way down the corridor to his quarters when he realised that he was being followed he took a quick step and lunged at the person standing behind him, Leland was of course too fast for him and pinned him against the wall.

"Do you mean me to harm Lt Tyler?" Leland asked, not releasing him from his hold.

"No, sir." Ash spoke, Leland often reminded him of Lorca, both men were rough and violent but they were 'the ends justify the means' type of people and even though people often looked down on it, he understood why people like them always seemed to get things done that no one else could. Even as Ash thought about how Leland was working on a time travel suit, something that no one could replicate in this time without the specifications with Michael's parents. Although the means got Michael's father killed and her mother stuck in a time-travel suit that pulls her back to the future repeatedly, they created something that allowed them to manipulate time and Ash thought that was an amazing accomplishment.

Leland let go of Ash and looked at him in the eyes. "What do you know about what Discovery is going to do with the Sphere's data?" Leland asked.

"I am not sure but I think they planned on getting rid of the data by sending it to the future in Dr Burnham's suit. That way Control will not be able to get it." Ash explained.

"You cannot let that happen. That data is too valuable, think about all the lives and people that could be saved and kept safe if we had access to that information."

"Sir, I don't think Captain Pike is an arguing mood, he just spoke to Dr Burnham and he thinks that maybe the ends justify the means, sir."

"Okay I understand him thinking that but I thought you understood what joining Section 31 would mean. That we are the only ones that get to perform justifiable actions. We are the only ones who truly understand what information like that could mean."

"What do you want me to do sir?" Ash asks.

Ash is getting ready to be teleported down to visit with Dr Burnham but he knew the real reason he was going down there. Ash fiddled with the device in his hand and as soon as he landed, his heart was in his throat.

Ash walked into the facility housing Dr Burnham, quickly putting the device on one of the cases and the download of the Sphere's data began. Dr Burnham speaks before he even gets into her eye-line "I am disappointed by you again Lt Tyler. It's always you, it sends."

"What are you talking about?" Ash asked her, stepping into her line of sight now.

"Always so eager to please. Eager to prove you are not a monster, you ignore the ones right in front of your face, time and time again." she said, "You did it with Lorca, you did it with Leland, hell you even did it whenever you looked into the mirror." Dr Burnham spoke so calmly it scared him a little, she seemed a lot colder than the woman Michael told him about.

"I don't know what you are trying to get at," he said to her.

"I think I do." Phillipa Georgiou said stepping into the facility, she went to the device that Ash thought he hid discreetly on the cases and stopped the download, she continued "She's trying to tell you that you fell prey to Control's manipulations."

"What are you doing here?" Ash asked her.

"I followed you. You and Leland seemed to be having an awfully interesting conversation so I got curious and went to the camera room to see if I could see what you guys were talking about and wouldn't you know it, the cameras started acting strange wherever Leland appeared on them. Discovery thought it was a glitch but I knew then what he had done and what he probably asked you to do." Phillipa explained.

"He attacked Michael?" Ash asked

"Well he's not really he anymore, it's it. It's Control." Dr Burnham said.

"We have to warn everyone aboard Discovery," Ash said as he called for a teleport.

"You go, I think I'm going to stay and have chat with Michael's mommy," Phillipa said.

Ash didn't think there was time to argue but once he got back on the ship he realised he was not aboard Discovery, he was on the main Section 31 vessel.

"Lt Tyler I hope you don't mind but I rerouted your call so I could talk to you about why you stopped the download of the sphere data," Leland spoke calmly.

Ash tried his best to fight off Leland but as soon as Leland got one strike to the chest, he knew that this was a losing battle, so once Leland left Tyler on the floor to beam down and obviously continue the download of the Sphere's data, Tyler got a message out to Discovery and he was then beamed aboard.

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This was the first time since he was younger did Spock ever hesitate seeing Michael. How could he tell her that they had to send her mother back to the future, without her time-travel suit, before she could even talk to her?

3 years after their sexual intercourse Spock could feel himself yearning for Michael, for his mate. He travelled to see her where he knew the Shenzhou was docked. The entire crew was going to be there for the medal ceremony happening. Michael and her captain were going to be awarded for their bravery and wit when they stopped the natives of Alora from a civil war breaking out. Their efforts were lauded and even father expressed some words about being impressed, words that Spock was to deliver. That was basically his version of patting her on the back and telling Spock that he should be like her.

As Spock approached the Shenzhou he felt absurdly anxious, he knew what he wanted to tell her. He also knew what he wanted to do to her but that was willing to be put in the back of his mind as he boarded the ship he walked the corridor where he bumped into a specialist who directed him to where Michael and the Captain were going to be.

As he turned the corner he halted as he realised that he was going to be interrupting the conversation going on.

"Come on, Michael, the Admirals were pretty clear about the dress code. Wear your best." Captain Georgiou spoke.

"I think I look best in my uniform," Michael replied and Spock tried not to look at her as he heard her speak but even then just her voice got his heart beating faster.

"Michael, I am not asking you to wear a two-foot-long dress. Maybe just a nice fitting suit? Or something that showed off your shoulders?" Captain Georgiou asked.

"Fine. I just want you to know how much I hate this." Michael said.

"Your resistance is noted. And here you go." Spock felt like that he should have interrupted at that point but he was afraid that he would not get to see her try on the outfit the Captain gave her and so he stayed where he was.

"Can I ask why I let you talk me into these kinds of things?" Michael asked from behind a changing divider.

"I always thought it was because you felt comfortable with me."

"I was comfortable with my mother but I still wouldn't wear half the things she wanted me to."

"That was just because of your Vulcan upbringing. You were not comfortable with yourself when you were there."

"That is not true," Michael said and Spock felt a twinge of joy when she defended their home.

"Yes, it is. You were almost constantly the only human in all spaces. That could not have been comfortable."

"Yeah but my brother Spock is half-human."

"Yeah, but how comfortable did he make you as a human, not as part of the family?" Spock listened intensely and then heard her sigh "Okay I get it." Michael said clearly agitated.

"It was interesting to grow up on Vulcan," Michael said and Spock smiled.

"But?"

"But I could never shake the loneliness I felt. Like I was constantly surrounded by people, even family and just felt lonely." Spock's heart sank, he knew he was not emotional but he tried his best, it seemed his best was not good enough. Spock always felt like a weird freak around other Vulcans but his mother and Michael never did and to hear that the whole time she was lonely made him hurt.

Spock held the note from their father in his hand, tightly, took a peek at Michael in her a dark blue pantsuit. He immediately regretted it, walking the hallway he bumped into the same specialist that gave him directions to the Captain's quarters and said "I have a delivery for First Officer Burnham. If you could give her this note from her father."

"Couldn't find her in the Captain's quarters? I thought she would be there but sure I can give that to her."

"Thank you." Spock reluctantly handed the specialist the note but before he left the specialist said: "You don't look like a delivery guy."

"Special circumstances for the Ambassador's ward." Spock lied coolly.

"Okay cool." the specialist walked away.

Spock thought about what Michael said, over and over again. His graduation from the Vulcan Science Academy was in 2 months and he had not given his father his application for the Vulcan Expeditionary Group. When the time came, Spock decided on who he wanted to be and the choice was clear it was a decision that ripped his family apart.

Spock took a breath and walked into Med Bay.

"Something's wrong," Michael said sensing his anxious. He never knew how she was able to do that. It drove him figuratively mad.

Spock really wanted to comfort her, to hold her as she cried about her mother but all he could do was stand there watching as the newly woken up Tilly, did all those things for her and for him. He pained at how he wasn't enough and then made to excuse himself when Lt Tyler was shuffled in unconscious.


End file.
